Keep Your Fork

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things “in order,” she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite Bible.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. “There's one more thing,” she said excitedly. “What's that?” came the pastor's reply.

“This is very important.” The woman continued, “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.” The pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say.

“That surprises you, doesn't it?” the woman asked. “Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,” said the pastor. The woman explained. “In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, ‘Keep your fork.’ It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming . . . like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance.”

“So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder ‘What's with the fork?’ Then I want you to tell them: “Keep your fork. The best is yet to come.’” The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the woman had a better grasp on life than he did. She knew that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and her favorite Bible and the fork in her right hand. Over and over the pastor heard the question, “What's with the fork?” And, over and over he just smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and what it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people that he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them they probably wouldn't stop thinking about it either. He was right.

So the next time you reach for your fork, let it remind you oh so gently, that the best is yet to come . . .

- Roger William Thomas

Telling Yourself the Truth

The following statements can be read, written, repeated, and focused upon in times of confusion, alienation, and distress. It may be helpful to write out the statements that are most meaningful to you and carry the statements with you. The statements can be reviewed many times per day, providing a reminder of what is real.

• I won’t always feel this way.
• Joy will return someday.
• Life is a mix of joy and sorrow.
• Emotional pain hurts, but that doesn’t mean it is harmful.
• Trouble and difficulties are a part of life.
• God is greater than any problem you are facing.
• Life is difficult, but God is good.
• Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair.
• God knows me and loves me no matter what!
• Jesus knows how it feels to suffer — He also suffered.
• It’s okay to be angry when something is wrong.
• It’s okay to cry — Jesus did.
• It’s good to acknowledge our needs when we have them.
• It’s okay to be scared — God is with me.
• God is with me even when I don’t feel it.
• God loves me no matter what I feel.
• God will give me strength when I am weak.
• It’s okay to say “no.”
• The truth is always my friend, even when it is painful.
• I can make it through my pain — God will be with me.
• It’s okay to speak the truth in love.

- adapted from Mel Lawrenz & Daniel Green, Life After Grief, 137-138